


Xenosexcapade

by CrystalCorvuwulf (BlueMoonHound)



Series: The Secret Love Life of Barry Bluejeans [4]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Aftercare, Anal Sex, Consentacles, M/M, Other, Oviposition, Penis In Vagina Sex, Taako taacos questionable decisions, Tentacle Sex, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, implied blupjeans - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 06:33:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14467041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMoonHound/pseuds/CrystalCorvuwulf
Summary: “Taako, what's going on?”“Well there was this cool monster and I wanted to give it a look--”“Taako did you persuade a tentacle monster to fuck you again?” There needs to be a rule. Do not let Taako go places with tentacles unsupervised. He has a fetish.“Mhyeahhhhh that's exactly what. Mhm. Yep.”Wonderful.





	1. Chapter 1

Barry wakes up with his stone ringing. He mutters something to Lup and pushes himself up against the headboard. “Hello?”

“Heeeeyy. Barry. Can you lend a guy a hand?” Taako. Taako sounds incredibly woozy, like he's high on something. Wonderful. Has he been smoking with some strangers or something? There's a very limited number of semisentient creatures on this planet and Barry hasn't met any that smoke.

“What did you do.”

Taako laughs. “Hey. It's uh. You'll see. It's kinda gross? But that's fine. We're chill, right, bluejeans? But yeah, I trust Lu with this but I d'nt want her to see it. And I don't want Merle dealing with this he'd do something stupid. Magnus doesn't keep his mouth shut. Davenport'd scold me more. And Lucy'd write it down so it's you. Yeah. Uh. Hhhhey Barry. Can you help a friend out?”

Barry's already climbing out of bed and finding a pair of jeans that he can wear outside. “I'm coming, Taako, but you better tell me what's going on as soon as I'm outside. I don't even know where you are.”

“You know those cliffs? Uhh. The ones by like. Yeah. The cliffs. Ocean.”

“Yeah.”

“There's a cave near the top.”

'Did you _scale_ \--”

“Nnnnnnooooo get to the top of the cliffs, there'll be a lil path. Somewhere. Yeah. N' use that. It's not too small. You'll be fine.”

“The question I'm asking is will you be fine.” He pointedly does not put on his IPRE robe for this one. “How on earth did you persuade someone to get high with you in a cave over the ocean?”

“Din't. S'not whats goin on.”

If it's not that, then what is it? Barry's heart stutters a little. “Taako, what's going on?”

“Well there was this cool monster and I wanted to give it a look--”

“Taako did you persuade a tentacle monster to fuck you again?” There needs to be a rule. Do not let Taako go places with tentacles unsupervised. He has a fetish.

“Mhyeahhhhh that's exactly what. Mhm. Yep.”

Wonderful.

“Can you stand?”

“That is the last of my problems right now.”

“Taako.”

“Definitely not. Can't even sit up. I don't think. I haven't tried. Uh.” His voice sounds a little less woozy now. Barry peers down over the cliff. Below him, water crashes against the cliff face with a violent and terrifying force. He needs to find the path, now. Should be… somewhere.

“Taako, you're an idiot.”

“Mhthats me, Taako the shit idiot wizard.”

Ah. He finds – A path, anyway, though whether it's the one Taako went down he doesn't know. He'll have to find out. Barry walks sideways, pressed against the cliff face. It takes him a good ten minutes to shimmy his way to the place where the path widens. Sure enough, there's a cave. He stands outside it. “Listen – I – fuck, Taako, having sex with tentacle monsters is fine if it's consenting, but please please figure out how to get yourself back to the ship or at least tell me ahead of time that I might be carrying your horny ass back.”

“Mhmkay,” Taako says, and he can hear it reverberating out of the space in front of him. Oh good, this is the right cave. He starts in cautiously. It's not his plan to get fucked by some tentacles.

“I found your cave,” Barry says. “I'm hanging up.” He clicks off the stone and yells. “TAAKO?”

“Hiiii,” he hears, from somewhere a little further down the cave. He heads deeper, one hand still pressed against the wall. It doesn't take him that long before he almost trips over Taako's arm, the elf lying supine across the cave with his fingers just brushing the wall. He looks absolutely blissed out.

Barry kneels down near Taako's head, crossing his arms. “Come on, then, let's go.”

“Nnnoooo,” Taako says, and the arm that isn't brushing the wall shifts. “We gotta get em out first.”

“What?” Barry follows the movement of his hand. He bites back a gasp when he sees Taako's bloated torso, his skin stretched taut around… something. “ _What_?” he repeats, staring. He's used to Taako being completely naked after these escapades, but this is new. A little worry grows inside Barry's chest. What if Taako's organs are ruptured? Whatever this creature shoved into Taako's body almost definitely does not belong there. Besides, Taako doesn't have a uterus. His body isn't designed to stretch like that in any capacity, let alone over a period of _hours_. “What exactly are we getting out?”

Taako giggles. “Lissen, Barry, it felt good, so I just let it happen--”

“Taako.”

“I think it's eggs.”

“You let that thing...lay eggs in you?”

“I was just feelin' it.”

Barry groans, putting his face in his hands. “Well you're going to have to sit up anyway. I don't know how to help you with this one, Taako, this is ridiculous.”

“I've shitted out worse.” Taako shifts a little and groans. “I don't know about sittin' up, though.”

“ _Taako_.”

“Help?” He pouts.

“You're making me breakfast for the next three cycles.”

“I make you breakfast every day anyway, jeansman.”

Barry just loops his arms under Taako's shoulders and tries to sit him up. Unfortunately, he doesn't do much of anything to help him. “Come on, Taako, if you didn't want help why did you even call me?”

“Dunno.” Taako giggles. “Can't really feel my legs too much?”

“If you want to get out of this fucking cave you better try,” Barry growls.

Taako makes an unhappy noise but, finally, starts trying.

It takes a few minutes to get Taako up and squatting against the wall. He lets his head thump back against the stone and grins at Barry.

Barry puts a hand against Taako's distended belly and feels around. “I don't know how exactly you planned on getting these out of your body but I'm sure as fuck that leaving them in is a bad idea. Do you think you can just...”

“Nope.” Taako takes a little shuddering breath, looking uncomfortable. Barry guesses that he's coming down from whatever high the damn monster put him on. “Come on, Barry, there's gotta be something, you're like, a fancy arcanist and a scientist or whatever, like.”  
“I could try shrinking them.”

“That…. might work.”

“Alright.” Barry prays to any god that will listen and aims for the foreign objects in Taako's body. After a few minutes, Taako sighs and relaxes a little. “Is that better?”

“Yeah.”

He's still pretty visibly bloated, but he's not sure how much of that would go away on short notice.

Taako grips Barry's arm and visibly pushes, which is disgusting but, he supposes, necessary. He lets Taako grip his arms even when it starts to hurt.

When the first egg lands on the floor Barry can't hold back a hysterical giggle.

“You know, I keep helping people with xenosexcapades, but it's never involved eggs before.”

“You don't always -”

“Uhuh. Remember the cycle where Lucretia fucked a mermaid? How about every single time you find a tentacle monster? Or Lup and that one demon. Or the several times Merle's gotten tangled up in--”

“Okay, yeah, fair, fine, alfuckingright chill.”

Barry huffs and they return to silence, save for Taako's panting as he attempts to push more eggs out. Half an hour and two eggs later Taako moans in pain and leans his head forward onto Barry's shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Hurts.”

The worry in Barry's chest intensifies a little. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You wouldn't have happened to bring lube with you, wouldja?”

“Why would I bring lube to – to what I assumed was a hundred-percent-average tentacle fucking post-session cleanup?”

“Kay, kay, fair.” Taako groans. “I really don't think I can keep doing this.”

“Should have thought about that before you let a monster fill you with eggs.”

“Hnmm.”

“Do you know how many eggs there are?”

“Around tenish, I think?”

“Okay, that's not so bad.” Barry sighs.

“Hey Barry?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you do something. Uh. It would help.”

“Whats that.”

“Well the monster has lube.”

“What the fuck are you asking me to do?” Barry would throw his arms up in the air if he wasn't trying to keep Taako something like upright. “Go down and ask it for some of its jizz?”  
“Yeah?” Okay, gods, nope, his voice is _tiny_. Barry sits up.

“Okay, fine, alright. Hey. Let me help you lie down first.”

“Oh, yeah,” Taako says.

Helping Taako lie down turns out to be less of an affair than helping him sit up was. He has to move the eggs, though, and he takes a moment to examine them. They're a deep blue-violet, mottled with fuchsia accents and rather gorgeous, actually. Barry wonders if he can justify sneaking one out. He puts them down and braces himself to see what, exactly, landed Taako in this shape.

It, whatever it is, does not like to show a face. When Barry reaches what he has to assume is the back of the cave, all he can see is writhing dark tentacles.

“Hello?”

It makes a noise that grates in his mind and makes him reel. He recognizes it as a greeting, somehow.

“You make like, slick stuff, r-right?” Barry swallows. “Like, lube?”

The monster laughs at him. A dripping tentacle appears from within the mass. It slides towards his face, caressing under his jaw. He shudders, a little pulse of arousal trickling into his body.

“Uh. I need it for a. For a friend.”

The tentacle withdraws. He holds out his hands because he's not sure what else he's supposed to do, and the monster seems to get the idea, drooling the viscous liquid into his cupped palms. It stops when the liquid starts to dribble over the sides of his hands. Barry shudders again. Nope, no, he can't let this stuff get to him.

Taako is exactly where he left him when Barry returns, looking bored and exhausted. He hears Barry coming and turns his head with a flop, blinking slowly. “Hey.”

“Hey, Uh, my hands are full, can you...?” Barry tries his best to gesture with his shoulders.

“Oh fuck yes, it worked.” Taako manages to push himself into a sitting position this time. “Cool. I was a little worried you might get too into it down there.”

“Nope, definitely not,” Barry says. He's definitely turned on, but he wants to ignore it. He's trying his best to ignore it.

Taako dips his fingers in the monster goo and starts fingering himself, leaning against the wall again. He sighs in relief and arousal, his cock twitching just a little when he pulls out to get more lube from Barry's hands. The little moaning sounds Taako makes send little jolts of pleasure right through Barry's clit. He shifts uncomfortably. No. Nope.

“Uhgnhgh,” Taako groans. “Okay, yeah, no, I'm not gonna get the rest of the eggs out if I'm this horny.”

“That's your own fault, Taako.”

“Can you--”

“You can jerk yourself off, thanks.”

“But that's so much less fun!”

“My hands are full of lube.”

“I'll take it.” Taako looks smug, holding out cupped hands.

Barry takes a deep breath and hands over the lube. It's fine. Taako's right: They might as well have a little fun while they're stuck in a cave trying to extricate eggs from Taako's body. He pours the lube into Taako's outstretched hands, trying to get all of it off his own before touching his dick. No reason to get him more horny than he needs to be. Nevertheless, Taako moans as soon as Barry's hand is wrapped around him. It takes no time at all to make him cum, and then he falls back against the wall again.

Barry's uncomfortably tempted to lick his hand clean. Gross. He doesn't want that tentacle lube stuff in his body anyway.

“Thanks,” Taako mumbles. He sounds high again. Great.

Taako gets another two eggs out before he has to lube himself up again. It's not the worst situation Barry's ever been in, but he's starting to be so uncomfortably horny that he has to clasp his legs together where he's kneeling on the floor. The tentacle stuff is so potent, all it's taken is a little skin contact for Barry to feel overwhelmed.

For that matter, they're starting to run out of the tentacle sex stuff. By the time Taako needs it again, they just don't have enough.

“I'm not going back down there to get more of this stuff,” Barry says, when they run out. He knows if he did he'd end up in the same position Taako is in right now, and he'd like to be back at the base and clean before the sun rises. It's already two in the morning, at least.

“We could use spit,” Taako thinks aloud. “No, no, hm.”

“There's only like four more, right?”

“Lissen, Barry, I really, really do not want to tear my fuckin anus open. That would suck.”

“Fair.” He shifts again, which is a mistake because the little bit of friction against his clit is distracting. Taako glances from his face to his crotch and back again.

“What about your uh. Slick?”

“Taako, I don't get as wet as a cis woman would.”

“Mhmm. I unno. That thing made me cum like, a lot.”

Barry sits back on his heels and thinks about this for a few minutes. It wouldn't hurt to find out. He is really horny. And Taako's right, if he tore his rectum that would suck ass, pun not intended.

Alright.

Barry stands up and starts removing his pants. He's a little self-conscious about being naked in a cave, but he kicks his shoes off and removes his underwear anyway, because right now what matters is getting eldritch eggs out of Taako's body. He might be a little bit foggy because of the sex slime, too, but at very least he knows helping his friend is making the right decision.

Barry kneels back down and has to swallow back a moan when he slides his hand between his legs. Sure enough, he's absolutely dripping. When he parts his folds, he comes up with two thoroughly slicked fingers.

“This is super unsanitary,” Barry mumbles as Taako turns around.

“Yeah,” Taako says, not much clearer. He sounds unfocused rather than embarrassed, though. Barry slicks him up, and holds him steady as he pushes four more eggs out.

“Gods,” Taako pants. “Fuck.”

“Next time some monster offers to oviposit in your body you say no, okay?”

“I'll do my best.”

“You'd better.” Barry presses his clit against Taako's knee on an impulse. “Is that all the eggs?”

Taako tenses, and then sighs. “Yeah. Deffos.”

“Good.”

They sit in tense silence for a bit, holding each other. Barry has to actively keep himself from rutting against Taako's leg. Taako glances at Barry's groin again, his own cock half-hard.

“Do you want me to--”

“Fuck, yes, please.”

Barry can't hold back his moans when Taako starts rubbing his clit with a finger. He leans forward against Taako and pants until he spins wildly over the edge. It takes hardly a second for him to come back from post-coital bliss, eyes immediately focusing on Taako's rigid erection.

“Fuck me?” he mumbles into Taako's pecs.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

It feels really great to lie back on the floor, actually. It's been a long evening and being horny doesn't wholly save him from his own exhaustion. Taako looks pretty tired too, but elves don't need as much sleep as humans do. Barry shivers as Taako runs his hands up under his shirt, still a little sticky with weird monster slime.

With minimal fanfare, Taako slides his dick into Barry's entrance, stretching him open perfectly. He hadn't exactly forgotten that a self-lubricating vagina is beneficial, but he's enjoying that thoroughly now. “Holy shit,” Taako mumbles, jerking his hips against Barry. “You're so wet.”

“Yeah,” Barry mumbles, his second orgasm already building as Taako ruts against his g-spot. He can feel every point where they connect, the intensity so dizzying that he scrabbles around for something to hold onto. Unfortunately they are fucking in a cave, and caves don't lend themselves to easy handholds, so Barry just finds himself lost in the sensation.

He feels Taako come, gasping, so close he ruts himself back onto Taako's cock. Taako doesn't pull out, just puts his fingers on Barry's clit and rubs till Barry whites out with pleasure, this orgasm even more intense than the last one. He pants up at the ceiling for a few minutes, waiting for Taako to say something.

“We should probs get back to the 'blaster, huh,” Taako mumbles.

“Yeah.”

They don't move for a few more minutes anyway.

Finally, he tugs himself back together. Barry sits up and tugs his pants and underwear back on. “You had your stone, where's the rest of your stuff?”

“Oh, holdon.” Taako opens up a demiplane and produces his IPRE robe. “Iunno about the rest of it but I have this.”

Barry frowns.

“Hey! I wasn't gonna say 'Please don't sexily tear my clothes off my body' to the cool eldritch horror, I was enjoying myself too much. Chill! Besides, it's only like,” he pauses, checks a watch he pulls out of the demiplane. “Like three in the morning? We got time to shower before Dav wakes up. There's no way he won't know we were out anyway.”

Barry sighs and doesn't refute that, because he's right: There's no way that Davenport won't at least put together that they went somewhere. The best they can hope for is where they went staying private.

Taako shrugs into his robe and stands up, legs shaking a little under his weight. “Alright. Let's go.”

“Are you sure you have the balance to make it up that little path?”

“Nope. Only one way to find out.”

Barry groans. He follows Taako up out of the cave, his hand hovering close to Taako's back. Just in case.

They do make it back to the starblaster without much incident, thank goodness. Taako almost falls asleep in the shower, though, and Barry ends up carrying him to his room.

“B'ry?” Taako grabs Barry's sleeve before he can leave.

“Yeah?”

“Thank.”

Barry snorts. “Of course. Get some sleep, dipshit.”

“Mhm.” Taako lets go of his sleeve. He's pretty sure that Taako falls asleep before he closes the door behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

_It was really just going to be a walk in the sunset,_ Taako tells himself, shimmying down a cliff edge. He'd heard a voice, well, not exactly a voice, but it was making words. In his brain. Curiosity killed the cat and satisfaction brought it back again.

Taako peers into a dark cave. Nothing here. He's about to go back up the cliff and head back to the starblaster when he hears the voice again.

“Hello?”  
It doesn't say words, just like before. It says something that grates, a noise that is viscerally horrifying, and he recognizes the sound as a greeting.

“I'm Taako.”

It wants him to come down.

“Why?” Another noise. “You're offering me sex? Whatcha got?”

Tentacles. Hm. He likes that.

Taako does this perhaps a little too often. After the sixth cycle where he met something like this, he stopped feeling embarrassed by the solicitations, or his own urge to get thoroughly fucked by something so utterly nonhumanoid it didn't even pass for an octopus. He just takes off his robe and sticks it in a demiplane with anything else he deems important and struts down into the cave.

It's not always tentacles, but he's grown fond of that specific kind of monster. This one happens to be dark and slick and writhing as he approaches, running a tendril along his bare shoulder. It asks for consent one more time.

“Yeah, go for it,” he says, appreciating the respect here. This is respect. Asking the stranger twice before you have fun with them? _Respect_.

He's immediately surrounded, lifted up off the ground. A second tendril caresses his jawbone and suddenly Taako notices the aphrodisiac there, warmth pulsating through his groin. Another tentacle works its way under his shirt, pushing it up and pulling it tight before ripping it clean off his body. He moans aloud as several more of them wend their way around his chest and waist, leaving his skin slick. His cock pulses between his legs, already half-hard. His heart starts to patter in his neck as he's surrounded by writhing darkness.

He'd forgotten how much he loves this.

By the time the tentacles have worked off his shorts and shoes, he's riding the edge of his first orgasm. Taako pants and ruts against thin air, the monster holding him as still as it can, which is to say, pretty much immobile. He can feel a tentacle work its way up his thigh and he whines just before it hits the base of his dick. He comes dramatically, long ropes of cum spurting out over his chest and stomach. And he doesn't stop coming. If he weren't so blissed out, Taako would take a moment to wonder about that one.

His dick doesn't soften, even as he comes down. In fact, that orgasm left him wanting. His brain is going hazy from the intensity of the sex slime coating his body but he couldn't care less. He continues to rut needily against the tentacle around his dick, mumbling nonsense words into the air. He wouldn't mind a second.

That tendril disappears, though, and Taako whines, once again dancing along the edge. The same one- or maybe a different one – appears at his asshole, rubbing slick right along his entrance. He shivers in anticipation, wound tight. He's not sure if he can come from anal alone. He's never tried. He certainly can't jerk himself off while he's restrained by drippy tentacles. He does jerk and moan as it pushes into him, though, higher thought shoved right out of his brain.

“Fuuuuhck,” Taako moans as the tingling sensation of the aphrodisiac works its way inside him. Arousal rockets up his spine. It's so intense that he almost doesn't notice another tentacle moving towards his face until it's shoving into his mouth. He can't complain. He laps the slick off it eagerly, feeling electric jolts of pleasure shoot through his body as he swallows it down.

When the tentacle in his ass hits his prostate he discovers that he can, in fact, come without help from his dick. That tentacle keeps wiggling inside, filling him up and stretching him with its gradation. The sensation is delightful, even as he comes down from his second orgasm, this time noticeably spent. He thinks he could use a break but the tentacles don't seem intent on giving him one. The one in his mouth leaks more sex juice down his throat, which he swallows on impulse, feeling that overwhelming arousal spread through him again, inside and out. He takes a deep breath through his nose and the scent of the place sends him reeling.

Despite himself, Taako whines when the tentacle in his ass leaves. He feels hollowed out. He's about to say something around the mouthful when a second, thicker tentacle works its way into the space the previous one had been. He shivers.

And then it _widens_.

Taako gasps as he feels something slip through the tentacle, cock jumping at the pressure inside of him. Oh, wow, okay, wow. He ruts down against the sensation, reveling in the pain of it. And then whatever it is slips all the way into his body, and the pressure eases, and Taako whines.

And then it starts again. This time, Taako ruts down onto it, panting. The monster feeds him more aphrodisiac and he comes again, his brain bursting with static and pleasure. He couldn't be happier than in this exact moment.

The third - egg? - leaves Taako groaning. He can feel them pushing on the inside of him, now. He wonders if that's visible from the outside of his body. He leans into it as the fourth slides in, shoving at the others to make room. He feels it all acutely, adjusting in his body.

By the time there are six of them inside of him, there's no way he's not a little bloated. They're not as small as he had initially thought. He squirms as he feels a seventh slide past his entrance, coming again, almost blacking out. Taako just about loses count. He thinks there might be another three…? Four? He doesn't know. The creature seems to notice, backing off after a little while, the tentacle in his ass retracting. He's lowered back onto the cool cave floor.

Taako manages to pull himself about ten feet towards the entrance, just so he can get away from the smell and think for a minute. He flops across the cave and throws his hands over his head, brushing the wall. Even then, though, he just feels an odd combination of high, drunk, and intensely horny. He pants in the dark, the ache in his body at odds with his tiredness. He could sleep.

Sleeping is a bad idea. He moves one hand down until it hits the bump where the eggs are. Definitely visible. He can't just pretend this one didn't happen.

He knows for a fact he is not going to be able to walk out of this cave.

Taako sighs and gets his stone from his demiplane. Eggs. Eggs, eggs. It's probably a bad idea to leave eggs in his body whether they're noticeable or not, right? He can't think too clearly. What was it about eggs that is bad?

He knows exactly who to call, though. Taako listens to his farspeech ring for a few moments.

The voice on the other end is groggy. “Hello?”

Taako grins at the ceiling. “Heeeeyy. Barry. Can you lend a guy a hand?”

 

Taako wakes up with a pounding head. Before he's fully conscious, he thinks it must be a hangover, but when he shifts, pain rockets through the rest of his body and he almost shouts. The events of the previous night trickle back into his brain and he moans into his pillow, overwhelmed by pain.

He lies still til the pain subsides and he feels like he's sinking into the blankets again. As long as he keeps his eyes closed, his brain doesn't hurt too much.

Someone knocks on the door (ow) and then comes in. “Taako? How are you feeling? I brought coffee.”

“Hunngghghhhhhhh.” Taako exclaims.

“That bad, huh?” Barry puts something down on the table. “I brought some pain meds too. Uh. If you can sit up to take them. I have a bit of a headache, which I assume is from the sex stuff? I know you were exposed to a lot more of that and also, well, yeah. So, I figured it might help.”

Taako refuses to budge. Barry shuffles around. All of this noise is sending little shocks of discomfort through Taako's brain. He'd tell Barry to stop but that would make noise. Barry lifts something crinkly. Then, something cold hits his scalp and the pain in his head ebbs enough that he can think more clearly.

“I am not fucking that thing again,” Taako grumbles.

“You'd better not.” He feels the bed shift as Barry sits down next to him, rubbing one of his shoulders. “You could have wrecked your digestive system. Or died. Or both.”

“Hngh.”

“Yeah.”

“Don't tell everyone about that.”

“No, I told them we went drinking. I figure a hangover is a better reason than 'high as fuck on aphrodisiacs.'”

“Thnks.”

“No big deal.”

“Does--”

“Yeah, Lup knows when I'm lying.”

Taako lies still for a few more minutes as the cold of whatever Barry put on his head ebbs, trying to focus on the sensation of Barry petting his shoulder instead of the pain in his body and head.

“Help me sit up?” he mumbles, finally.

Barry scootches a little closer and helps him into a sitting position. He swallows a couple of pills with some coffee and leans his head back into Barry's collarbone.

A good ten minutes pass in peace and quiet before Lup comes banging into the room. “I heard someone got frisky last night!”

Taako feels like his head is going to implode.

Barry hisses. “Lup, shut up!”

“Oh yeah, you told the others that you have a hangover, right?”

“Yeah, also Taako basically has a hangover.”

“Sex-hangover?”

“Sex juice hangover. Yeah. Shut the door.”

Lup clicks the door shut behind her, still grinning.

“What do you want, Lulu,” Taako groans.

“I just can't believe you nearly fractured your ass because you wanted to get stuffed so bad,” She whispers, leaning forward.

“How much did Barry tell you?”

“At least he didn't castrate his vaginal cavity,” Barry says.

“He doesn't have a vaginal cavity!”

“My point still stands.”

Taako rolls off of Barry. The meds are starting to work. He doesn't think he's going to be walking again today, though. His entire lower half is either numb or painful. “M'goin back to sleep.”

“Are you sure he's okay?” He can _feel_ Lup frown.

“I think he'll be fine in a few days.”

“The hangover excuse isn't gonna last that long.”

“We'll figure it out.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm disappointed in this fandom for not already having an oviposition fic. At least one. I keep christening tags...


End file.
